Somewhere around 15 weeks, my belly kind of... expanded. All of a sudden my handy 'bella band' (a large stretchy spandexy tube you wear over your non-maternity jeans, pants, etc.) was NOT keeping my pants up. I would sit down at a restaurant, and as I stood up, the sag in my rear end hung nearly to the middle of my thighs... not very flattering. My mother, just laughs.
Friends bend over and put there mouths to my stomach and speak softly to my belly... they gently pat or rub my belly as if it somehow will bring good fortune or luck. Compliment or annoyance? Well, if I am anything like the Buddha, total compliment. If I am anything like a FAT man with a sign above his head that reads, "Good Fortune", annoyance.
Kevin will rub his hand over my belly and look at it while saying things like, "How's the BABY...?" or, "Ooohhh, look at the babeee..." And I think privately to myself, "I wonder if the baby understands the difference between the sounds of adults making "coochie-coo" non-sense and simply speaking coherantly...?
I am frustrated that I have not had an ultra-sound performed. I have heard the heartbeat, but I have yet to SEE it. Isn't that supposed to be a milestone? My last visit to my OBGYN was disappointing... I reminded her that during the last appointment she had mentioned that I would have the opportunity to have an ultra-sound performed. She let out a deep sigh and said, "Well, it's not like a big deal or anything... It's like, there it is, there's the baby, then you're done." I was so taken aback that I didn't even react to her statement. I have been bitter ever since. Perhaps it is my own attachment. I just wanted her to keep her word...
So I am up late, I wake up late then I eat late... this vicious cycle has taken a toll on me. I can tell that the baby needs more nourishment. I wake groggy and weak. When I do eat, I feel exceptionally nauseous. I almost had an accident at Whole Foods this evening. Soba sounded so yummy and healthy (with spinach and wakame). I could tell Kevin was really nervous, but Ihad him stay put in his chair in case I did hurl. Talk about mind control... I can not recall a time where I was more ready to throw up --- it was right there. And I psyched myself out of it... it was a really intense five minutes... We left the market unscathed and with a nice bag of leftovers...
12.19.2009
12.14.2009
I 
12.02.2009
My Jewelry Story
I wrote this email to the artists who are participating in my Holiday Artist Trunk Show this Sunday, December 6th. In an effort to inspire creation, it also tells the story of why I started making jewelry...
Hello all... as the holiday artist trunk show fast approaches, I realized I did not share with all of you why or how this event all came about... It was originally created in my community leadership class, but the story goes much deeper and stems from a very precious place... I would like to share with you what this whole thing is and why I was inspired to create this event.
I'm eight years old, my day care teacher, Miss Tori, is wearing the most adorable pair of earrings. Today, they were pink with tiny white stripes running down each bead. I stare at her earrings, fascinated by the color and way the little sparkly bead swivels back and forth, back and forth. I gather the courage to ask her about her where she got them, and she shares with me the name of a place called, "The Bead Shop", in Laguna Beach. I tell my parents about Miss Tori's earrings in great detail and they agree to drive me to Laguna Beach in search of "The Bead Shop".
I walk in to a small store off of PCH in Laguna Beach, and the shiver of joyful excitement runs up my spine. I am in BEAD HEAVEN. Red ones, blue ones, green ones, glass ones, plastic ones, skinny ones, long ones, shiny ones, rainbow ones... I am overwhelmed by the choices and the possibility of limitless creativity. I am in the bead store for two hours... Time lost all meaning and value. I found my calling, my passion, my art.
The next ten years were spent practicing, learning, experimenting, playing and creating. Finally in 2005, after dozens and dozens of positive comments, feedback from artists who saw my pieces and family and friends constantly pushing me to SELL my jewelry in galleries and major jewelry stores, I took action. I created line sheets, wholesale prices, had the pieces photographed, created an inventory, registered for a sellers permit etc. I created a business for myself.
There was always one fear... A fear that stalked me in the middle of the night, taunting me over and over and over again. It was this little voice telling me, "Aww, Erin, c'mon. Your stuff isn't good enough. Why are you spending so much time and effort making jewelry no one will buy. Sure your family and friends like it... because they are your FAMILY, of course they will tell you they like it..." Imagine this voice in your head every night, repeating and repeating and taunting and taunting... It was almost unbearable. It felt so risky to share my art with the public. "What if they don't like it? What if they say I'm no good? What if they don't order anything?"
I was tired of being in fear. I was tired of playing it safe. I was fed up with my clever game of self-sabotaging my dreams. I recalled being eight years old again, walking in to the bead store... And I remembered how excited, anxious and joyful I felt at the mere notion of being able to create ANYTHING I wanted. ANYTHING!!! ANY color, ANY shape and in ANY way I wanted. And so I asked myself, "Why BE self-sabotaging, helpless and a victim of my own demise" when there is only opportunity ahead of me... I can still create... now it's creating a business, rather than a necklace.
I'm 30 years old, and I'm standing in front of a store called, "Something Silver", in Mission Viejo Mall. I am waiting for Stephanie Hara, the buyer for Something Silver, to meet with me and look at my line sheets. She sits down with me and looks though my linesheets smiling and making awesome comments on my work. She then takes out an order form and proceeds to place an order with me for three of her west coast stores (Downtown Disney, Seattle, Wa and Portland, Or). I am almost peeing in my pants as she writes down my very first whlesale order.
Over the next two years, my jewelry was featured in 8 of their 10 stores across the nation. What seemed impossible, was now possible. What historically was not moving, was NOW moving... Then came Bloomingdales... The rest is history.
As an artist, there are always moments of hesitation and trepidation when conducting new business in this changing market. Questions like, "Am I good enough? Are my products what people want? Is it original?" etc, arise and sometimes stop or slow our process and creation. It has been a dream of mine to create and host a trunk show for designers and artists, just starting a business and who have been in business, to share THEIR passion with the rest of the us.
Imagine a room full of friends and family, holiday music, the sweet scent of peppermint, cider and gingerbread... And the site of people enjoying themselves and eachother in an intimate and personalized shopping environment. Artists sharing their stories with eachother, making new friends, creating new contacts, and being a HUGE contribution to their charities! This is what I am up to creating, this is the joy I want to share and spread with you all. And to do so in a safe, friendly and non-competative environment. And with it being a time for giving and seasonal greetings, why not share your passion with the world while contributing portions of sales to a favorite charity.
I have worked really hard to personally invite those in my family, my friends and clients who have a sincere interest in supporting our event and our causes. It is up to all of us to create the success of this trunk show. I HIGHLY encourage you (if you haven't done so already) to create your own invitations, forward the Evite invitation, post on facebook or twitter or myspace, etc. Call your friends and family, tell them what you are up to and how you are a part of something that is contributing to others this season! Promote your charity! Invite charity members to attend. There are so many options!
But most of all, remember why you ever chose to pick up that sewing machine, that camera, those pins and scraps of fabric, that t-shirt, that paper, that doodle you drew that tunred in to something super cute... Remember why you chose to be an artist and why it meant so much to you. It's time to share your self, your art and your passion with others. You are very special people with such gifts to share with others. And I am honored and so lucky to have you aprticipate in this event with me.
I am really looking forward to being and celebrating with you all on Sunday.
In Bliss, Peace and Love,
Erin
Hello all... as the holiday artist trunk show fast approaches, I realized I did not share with all of you why or how this event all came about... It was originally created in my community leadership class, but the story goes much deeper and stems from a very precious place... I would like to share with you what this whole thing is and why I was inspired to create this event.
I'm eight years old, my day care teacher, Miss Tori, is wearing the most adorable pair of earrings. Today, they were pink with tiny white stripes running down each bead. I stare at her earrings, fascinated by the color and way the little sparkly bead swivels back and forth, back and forth. I gather the courage to ask her about her where she got them, and she shares with me the name of a place called, "The Bead Shop", in Laguna Beach. I tell my parents about Miss Tori's earrings in great detail and they agree to drive me to Laguna Beach in search of "The Bead Shop".
I walk in to a small store off of PCH in Laguna Beach, and the shiver of joyful excitement runs up my spine. I am in BEAD HEAVEN. Red ones, blue ones, green ones, glass ones, plastic ones, skinny ones, long ones, shiny ones, rainbow ones... I am overwhelmed by the choices and the possibility of limitless creativity. I am in the bead store for two hours... Time lost all meaning and value. I found my calling, my passion, my art.
The next ten years were spent practicing, learning, experimenting, playing and creating. Finally in 2005, after dozens and dozens of positive comments, feedback from artists who saw my pieces and family and friends constantly pushing me to SELL my jewelry in galleries and major jewelry stores, I took action. I created line sheets, wholesale prices, had the pieces photographed, created an inventory, registered for a sellers permit etc. I created a business for myself.
There was always one fear... A fear that stalked me in the middle of the night, taunting me over and over and over again. It was this little voice telling me, "Aww, Erin, c'mon. Your stuff isn't good enough. Why are you spending so much time and effort making jewelry no one will buy. Sure your family and friends like it... because they are your FAMILY, of course they will tell you they like it..." Imagine this voice in your head every night, repeating and repeating and taunting and taunting... It was almost unbearable. It felt so risky to share my art with the public. "What if they don't like it? What if they say I'm no good? What if they don't order anything?"
I was tired of being in fear. I was tired of playing it safe. I was fed up with my clever game of self-sabotaging my dreams. I recalled being eight years old again, walking in to the bead store... And I remembered how excited, anxious and joyful I felt at the mere notion of being able to create ANYTHING I wanted. ANYTHING!!! ANY color, ANY shape and in ANY way I wanted. And so I asked myself, "Why BE self-sabotaging, helpless and a victim of my own demise" when there is only opportunity ahead of me... I can still create... now it's creating a business, rather than a necklace.
I'm 30 years old, and I'm standing in front of a store called, "Something Silver", in Mission Viejo Mall. I am waiting for Stephanie Hara, the buyer for Something Silver, to meet with me and look at my line sheets. She sits down with me and looks though my linesheets smiling and making awesome comments on my work. She then takes out an order form and proceeds to place an order with me for three of her west coast stores (Downtown Disney, Seattle, Wa and Portland, Or). I am almost peeing in my pants as she writes down my very first whlesale order.
Over the next two years, my jewelry was featured in 8 of their 10 stores across the nation. What seemed impossible, was now possible. What historically was not moving, was NOW moving... Then came Bloomingdales... The rest is history.
As an artist, there are always moments of hesitation and trepidation when conducting new business in this changing market. Questions like, "Am I good enough? Are my products what people want? Is it original?" etc, arise and sometimes stop or slow our process and creation. It has been a dream of mine to create and host a trunk show for designers and artists, just starting a business and who have been in business, to share THEIR passion with the rest of the us.
Imagine a room full of friends and family, holiday music, the sweet scent of peppermint, cider and gingerbread... And the site of people enjoying themselves and eachother in an intimate and personalized shopping environment. Artists sharing their stories with eachother, making new friends, creating new contacts, and being a HUGE contribution to their charities! This is what I am up to creating, this is the joy I want to share and spread with you all. And to do so in a safe, friendly and non-competative environment. And with it being a time for giving and seasonal greetings, why not share your passion with the world while contributing portions of sales to a favorite charity.
I have worked really hard to personally invite those in my family, my friends and clients who have a sincere interest in supporting our event and our causes. It is up to all of us to create the success of this trunk show. I HIGHLY encourage you (if you haven't done so already) to create your own invitations, forward the Evite invitation, post on facebook or twitter or myspace, etc. Call your friends and family, tell them what you are up to and how you are a part of something that is contributing to others this season! Promote your charity! Invite charity members to attend. There are so many options!
But most of all, remember why you ever chose to pick up that sewing machine, that camera, those pins and scraps of fabric, that t-shirt, that paper, that doodle you drew that tunred in to something super cute... Remember why you chose to be an artist and why it meant so much to you. It's time to share your self, your art and your passion with others. You are very special people with such gifts to share with others. And I am honored and so lucky to have you aprticipate in this event with me.
I am really looking forward to being and celebrating with you all on Sunday.
In Bliss, Peace and Love,
Erin
10.26.2009
I am currently 12 weeks pregnant. Almost at the end of my my 1st tri-mester. YAY! The following is my first blog entry as a pregnant person... hah! Enjoy.
__________
It’s Thursday morning, October 29, at 10:30 am. I am walking to the scale, I take off my scarf, put my purse down, I take off my shoes, and I think about all the other items on my body I can remove... (girls are funny about their weight, yes?) I step on to the scale and am surprised that I have not gained any weight. Yay! I mean, yay? Wait, I thought I was supposed to gain weight. I’m slightly concerned about not gaining weight, but then recall from researching that it is normal to gain only three pounds or so in the first tri-mester. Phew, ok on to the room with the stirrups, yoo-hoo!
The nurse asks me to pull up my sweater as she wraps the inflatable device around my arm to measure my blood pressure. Tighter, tighter and tighter, until she says, “116/80... normal.” She asks me to lay down so she can look for the baby’s heartbeat. I lie down and as I stare up at the ceiling, there are four or five images from familiar comics and pictures of kittens and puppies. Humorous sayings are printed on them meant to put patients like me at ease. (If I could remember what they said I would share them, but I forgot...) Gel is being rubbed on my lower belly and I shudder at the coolness as my skin becomes goose pimply. As the nurse presses the device in to my belly, the sound is like a loud wind, swishing and swooshing in my stomach. She stops and I listen, she moves a little to the right, I listen... She moves a little to the left, I listen... She continues to prod my belly for what seems like an eternity. I hear a faint beat and the nurse quickly tells me that the sound I hear is my OWN heartbeat. “Okaaay...”, I’m thinking in my head. “Where is the BABY’s heartbeat?” The nurse turns the speaker off and says to me, “Well, its early.” I can feel my face turn red and the heat begins to shoot through my body. The nurse says to me, “Okay, so now you can meet the Doctor and she will talk to you about some other things.” I’m wiping goopy gel off of my stomach and I’m semi-pissed that I didn’t hear the heartbeat inside my belly.
I’m walking down the hallway gripping Kevin’s hand and I am talking to myself in my head. “Why couldn’t she find the heartbeat? Why? Why? What’s wrong with my baby? Is it even alive?” Kevin and I sit down at Dr. Sugihara’s desk. The Doctor sits down and begins to chat about my test results. I breathe a sigh of relief as all of my tests have come back clear. I ask a few important questions about more tests during the next few weeks. Then the Doctor says, “Okay, so let’s go listen to the heartbeat!”
I tightly grip Kevin’s hand. I walk back in to the examination room. The cool gel hits my skin again, but this time, I don’t mind. The device probes my belly once again, and we hear the swish-swoosh sounds again. The Doctor quickly points out that the sound we hear is my own heartbeat. “How many beats per minute is the fetus’s heart beating at?”, I ask. “About 150 beats per minute”, she replies. She scans and scans, presses and prods, back and forth... I am feeling anxious, scared and fearful. I look in Kevin’s direction and he smiles at me reassuringly. I look up at the comics at the ceiling, and I am not amused anymore. The Doctor tells us that the target is only two millimeters in size so it may take time to find it. Three to four minutes pass (which feels like an hour) and I can feel myself fill with sorrow. “What if it is gone? What if it is dead? What if it doesn’t even exist?” The thought’s in my head take over and I close my eyes in sadness.
The sounds emitting from the speaker still mimic those of a windstorm. Then my Doctor asks me to stay still and jokingly says, “Okay, hold your breath...” And then, I hear it! I look over to Kevin and he is smiling with his head down. Tears begin streaming spontaneously out of my eyes. The heartbeat sounds like a swirling spinning washing machine, “Sweesh-o Sweesh-o Sweesh-o”. I was so present in that moment. All of my bills, financial matters, pending appointments and any angst I held in my heart - completely vanished “in a heartbeat”.
Kevin and I leave the Doctor’s office completely astonished and feeling alive. We enjoy a plate of pasta at our favorite Italian joint, Roma D’ Italia. Spaghetti and meatballs for Kevin and clam linguini with white sauce for mommy and baby.
6.27.2009
Henry
What a treat! I get to listen to live music and photograph at the same time. I love what I do!!!
6.17.2009
6.08.2009
Downtown Santa Ana
'frozen fountain'
'raining?'
'up'I'm sipping on my banana mocha from the Gypsy Den, savoring rich espresso, mocha and banana in between shooting... With each break between shots I am finding myself taking longer and longer sips through the narrow straw, and I am feeling more and more full and experiencing levels of brain freeze that can not be healthy for humans. Frustrated by my wet fingertips touching my camera, I down the last third of my sumptuous banana mocha. And like a good girl, I wipe my hands all over my jeans until they are completely dry before I handle my 'precious'. Now, I'm off to rediscover brick walls and other various vintage like structures and curiosities!
'peeking through'
'2nd street'As I turn the corner form the serenity which is 2nd street, I come upon the parking lot which is behind the bar now called, Proof. Brick and more brick, then randomness. (See image below) The drum actually says, "Step One"... If anyone know's what this is or what it was, let me know... interestingness everywhere.
'step drum'
'old city hall'(If you're really reading this... stay tuned. Falling asleep infront of computer... can't type any more...ZZZ zzz 'head bob' zz z zzzz...)
'peanut'
'post-office peek'
'slots'
'jacaranda shadows'
'tamarindo por favor'
'big smiles, small butts'
'WTF?'
'calcutta'
'rome'
'gate'
'empty courthouse'
'jet'
'criss-cross shadow'
'street light'6.01.2009
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Low Tide Sunday (taken with a Canon Digital Elf SD400)
Huntington Beach, Ca. Winter months bring exceptionally low tides.
Mochi (taken with a Canon 20D)
Mochi is also made into a New Year's decoration called kagami mochi (鏡餅, kagami mochi), formed from two round cakes of mochi with a bitter orange (橙, daidai) placed on top. The name daidai is supposed to be auspicious since it means "several generations."
Osechi-Ryori (taken with a Canon 20D)
Osechi-ryōri (御節料理 or お節料理) are traditional Japanese New Year foods.
Last Meal of 2008 (taken with an iPhone)
Shin-Sen-Gumi Hakata ramen. My order: Hakata Ramen, extra firm noodle, strong broth, topped with char-siu and spicy miso. An order of gyoza and a seaweed salad accompanied my ramen (gyoza was consumed rapidly prior to this photo being taken).
